Truth is, I did not want to hike. I wanted to cry like literally cry…like it’s not a phrase, You getting me? A week before, I had even mentioned in my blog that I am skipping those hikes and do the treks as usual. However, during the week, I was jealous of the view from the lab so my curious nature took over. Once the week was over, I stared in the dark that hiking-morning asking,
” Sarah. Why are you doing this?
Do you want to die from that hike?
Is it social life you want? Then why did you refuse to go for that yesterday’s date?
Is it fitness or freshness you want, why not go run along Thika road and come back?
No. It’s not the same thing. That’s a lot of noise, risk and ugliness. (I find modernity ugly, for some wierd reason. During the hike, I love the nature side than the one overlooking the whole of Nairobi.)
But I want to go out and feel good. Why did they put two hikes in one weekend? What is wrong with these people?
Sarah you done have enough for this month. Save. Ask them to push that money for another time.
Call him and tell him not to pick you. No, Text him, he might try talking you into it on how I would have more resilience (applied to life) that I will learn from hike. You guys had this pep talk already.
Argh. If I don’t go, I will have bad week. “
An Invisible and uncertified therapist in my head was saying “those are signs of addiction.” What if, there is no longer any hikes and Treks? Will my happiness go away? How then will I balance my hormones and have good moods throughout the week despite some people’s craziness? Going out in nature makes me manage my anger better even from before (when I would discover remoteness), but its so limited in these estates.
That thought makes my eyes water…just a little. I hate going ballastic with my emotions, either romantic feelings or anger. (Later in the day) Evidence- Just happened to me today … Someone sent me an email I wasn’t pleased with. The before hike me, would have given that person a piece of my mind but instead I was like, “What’s with this one?” And soon forgot about it until now.
The most raw truth you can get about hiking is from an unfit and fat first hiker like me. Yes, Fitness and Fatness are two different things. The other day, We were laughing after I realised that my colleague had alighted the bus nearly 40 stages before the actual stage. ” No, I don’t necessarily want to reduce, But wanted to feel fit. I slept well that day. ”
As an insomniac, these recent nature explorations have made me sleep. Like go to bed and not ‘stare in the dark, fantasize about my crush and re-create his beautiful face and all that’ but close my eyes and it’s the next day.
Someone (I do not remember who, gender and which trek) suggested I can also do Sit-ups for my stomach. “Who told you I want a flat stomach?” I started to participate in hikes and treks because I want to save on Therapy sessions costs and want to feel fresh and good and fit and….have a clear my mind.
If she/he came from a hike and told you how they feel that same day, Please do hear but don’t listen. They are lying: incomplete truth. Unless, they won’t be there the following days. That’s when the magic happens.
It is Tuesday Morning. I just took the bus some minutes ago. I am listening intercepted: Afghan Madrasa killings by americans in 2018, 2019…Just the other day – When I was happy graduating and sad because of hustling, someone else was doing the Shahada knowing they will crumble from the bullets. Deep breathe…
Today, some grey prado stood where the bus was supposed to stand thus creating more space to walk to the bus, but instead I ran. Before that, I was stretching my calves…Sgwembes…Mazgwembe. ‘This is different,’ I thought. Day two after treks, I usually have my legs back. As a first time hiker, I can’t tell you what’s usual. My calves still hurt (Pain to be updated).
Writing this today makes me a half-lier -At least I know what a ‘day-after-first-hike’ of pain when climbing up and down a ramp leave alone stairs feels like. Did I say through out the day, Like repeatedly. Nlkua nakaa mama mzee which I don’t mind but frustrating if you like walking fast without thinking about your steps.
I asked someone who has been doing this for the longest time how he was feeling after the first time of doing hikes in two consecutive days with a total of over 35km (Kijabe and Ngong) . He was like, “My body is tired but my legs are fine”.That didn’t make sense to me.
You know the way I have been telling people I usually want to keep on walking when notified that the trek is about to be over? Well that wasn’t the case on Sunday. At least I didn’t want to die due to fatigue but wanted to cut off my legs. They didn’t make sense.
The rest of the body was just fine and fresh for me but my under-feet especially that space in the middle that has a half-umbrella shape…That was painful. And hearing the same from someone who had those 10k worthy hiking shoes, I knew it was not a shoe thing. I prefer the calves pain compared to that pain.
But you can’t compare that pain with cramps (Menstrual periods pains). Being someone who has a high threshold of pain, the most painful points in my life were walking bare-foot in the sun, with a nylon burnt foot. This is like what…19 years ago? That shit is painful. Hiking is nothing… so far…I would go back to Ngong hills just to build up calves muscle for better hiking experience.
Have you ever been burnt by porridge? Did it happen again? How was the second time? That’s the mentality. You harden when you repeat. If I don’t continue with this journey, I will hate hiking – my thoughts.
Photos: Hikers afrique Ngong Hills Hike.
A scientist who writes about her daily experiences. Most are drafts but some are publicly shared, like this one you just read.