why women pick the ‘ugly guy’ 1

monochrome photo of man wearing nose ring

Have you ever met someone who was really good looking but 5 minutes in, you are no longer attracted to them?

Qualities women look for

It happens to me, like all the time, simply because I am really quick to figure out people by simple cues. But that’s just me. Let’s talk generally because, at the end of the day, any woman will finally figure you out. The speed depends on their exposure to the world and IQ (no offence intended: a phrase used when you are already offending)

Let’s just be real, women are not after good looking guys. There is a lot that we look at before deciding on being with someone. We are not damn. Being good looking is just a plus that doesn’t necessarily need to be there.

I don’t find light men attractive. It has nothing to do with my skin colour but my attitude towards light skin. In short, in terms of looks, everyone has what they find attractive in man rather preferences. This is why in this blog, we are not going to talk about physical attributes.

There is more to being just handsome. I will list some things that women know they like and the ones they don’t know they like but they do: Not sure if I am making sense.

Financial stability

I walk around telling people I am not a gold digger, yet I am. Everyone is. Hold on, before you defend your stand, think about this: Would you want to add an unintended additional mouth to feed, clothe, and shelter even if you have all your shit figure out? No one wants that.

Stop thinking about love at the moment. This is someone you just met or heard of. the first thing question you will ask is what does this guy or lady do? It’s like choosing to have a kid when you can hardly feed yourself or when you are not sure about your income stability. Everybody wants to be in a place where they don’t have to worry about bills and all that. Everyone wants to take a risk and do what they love without worrying that if it doesnt work, I am gonna sleep hungry.

That’s the finances part, Where does stability come in? I want to know that if this dude gets an accident or dies today, I am not going to back to square one. This now tells you why there is a huge difference of being with a guy who is paid pretty well and relies on that only and being with a guy who has lets say rentals that bring money in without anyone lifting a finger, Property!

Have you met these guys working because their uncle connected them or because they got lucky but their is nothing upstairs. Dude doesn’t have work ethic or do the best at the position they are in. Wako Tu! Some just complain but you don’t see the effort of having a backup plan or they have no plan on how to build or find something they enjoy.

This is why you would find a woman choosing a man with a low key job but bright enough to grow every single day to be the best they can be. As a woman you have faith that in a a few years, this man will be somewhere. Some will say they don’t have a job but if you find out what they have been doing in their jobless period, Doesn’t matter how much money they finally get paid, If he has been sitting on his ass doing nothing, then you know you will soon be in deep shit. What does a woman do? run before it even starts. No one wants to be hooked by love and care to someone they can clearly see has no intention of growing.

Everyone is chasing that penny. So let’s just not lie to each other here. No woman wants a pretty face doing nothing.

Women going for poor over rich

After spitting all that about how we want a guy with finances, why do women still go for poor man when they are being chased by a rich guy.

I have found myself in situtations where I am dating two men, Lets just be clear, dating is going out with different people before settling on one person, Don’t come with your claws one. Then I have to weigh, whom would I rather go with. Sometimes the the rich is handsome and the poor one is not as ‘light up the room’ kinda person. Why would I go the other way?


So, I am aware that we live in a society where feminism has been embraced and men are learning to be less chauvinistic. I am a closeted feminist, Like I don’t come out strongly with words but actions, however, let’s be real here.

Most women want to be led. how you lead is where the difference comes in. You might be just a bad leader and a woman takes on the lead. Women want to have a man and if you can’t they become their own men.

What do I mean?

Back to finances. How much you do sacrifice for her? Earning 100 dollars a month and you foot a 50 dollar bill to make me happy is stupid. It’s not even real and no one wants that crap. Sacrificing a small leisure and not basic need, just to make a woman happy is a lot. Women want to feel special and only manly men can afford to do that.

You will find a man earning 6 figures but dude is stingy. He doens’t take care of his won family, doesn’t gift his own friends and pretends to treat yet the gift is something someone half his salary can easily afford amd it won’t hurt. It has to hrut a little. It’s not really about the money.

For example, if someone spends time with you, time he could have used to do other stuff, then thats awesome treatement. Look, there is a difference here. Spending time with someone beacuse you got nothing else to do is different. Thats not sacrifice but bullshit. I want to see it hurt to know I am special.

Imagine a guy walking for over an hour just to see and a man who drove for five minutes to see or even sent a car to get you is not comparable. That didn’t necessarily hurt. if spending fuel on you was a sacrifie according to a woman’s calculation then thats different.

No man, gets it easier. Why Am I talking so much about money

I see men working so hard without a social life then when they have it, they can ahrdly speak to a woman just beacsue befote money hea d no ounc eof confidence to a approach one. if your confidence is based on money, A woman can see that and trust me she doesn’t find you attractive in anyway. She will cheat on you with shamba boy simply due is confident in his spacee and works hard to please her and make her feel special.

Looks like this supports my hypothesis. We will do more of this discussions soon. Coz, if you haven’t still figure out what makes a man attractive, then you are big trouble. Doesn’t matter how old you are..

Don’t walk around here with a pretty face and nothing more…

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